Bye Bye Rainbow

Well now I know. The cramping got worse last night and I have had a lot of heavy bleeding and passed some clots also.

I have taken today off work, the bleeding is still quite heavy. I will go to the docs tomorrow still. I guess they will want to organise an ultrasound to make sure everything has come out.

Bye Bye to my little rainbow baby, Im sorry you couldnt stay.

Went and had a blood test done this morning, wont get the results until Wed morning though.

Just started having some cramping though and the bleeding is a little heavier...

: (

Of course stupid me, I should have known with my luck that the bleeding would continue.

Been having spotting on and off all day yesterday and again this morning. So I will have to go and have blood tests tomorrow to see if hormone levels are rising.

My feeling is that they wont be.

I actually think that bubba stopped growing last weekend when I had those cramps which I thought was contipation pains. It would explain why the scan the other day showed a 5w 3d and not 6w 3d because thats how far along I was when I had the pains.

Anyway I will have the blood tests tomorrow and see what happens. I hate this waiting game and not knowing whats going on.

There was only a little bit of blood when I wiped this morning, so I am hoping that it has stopped.

No cramping still so I guess thats a good sign, we shall see what the day brings....

Crap. Bright red blood and now Im getting a headache.

Doesnt look good.

Not good news but not bad yet either

Shit shit shit shit shit.

I went to the toilet to empty my bladder at 11:00am so I could then drink my 1 litre of water for the 12:00pm scan and there was some blood on the toilet paper.

I stared at it for ages cause I didnt believe what I was seeing. This morning I had myself convinced that this baby would be my take-home baby, that everything would be alright and then I was totally deflated.

I wiped a few times and it was just pale pink blood.

So I went to the scan anyway and told them what had happened. 

When he put the ultrasound on my stomach he said he couldnt see anything in my womb at all. So then I was thinking great it must be an ectopic pregnancy or something. So then he did an internal ultrasound and you could see a very small sack - about 0.5cm long in my uterus. There was some tiny signs of a heartbeat but not enough to pick up a rythym. According to the measurements the gestational age is 5w 3d, but yet going by my menstrual cycle I should be 6w 3d. So something isnt adding up.

Also when I wiped after the scan there was some more darker blood and a very small looking clot.

So now I am totally freaking out that I am going to miscarry or there is something wrong with the baby.

I had to tell my boss what was going on and he has sent me home for this afternoon. Luckily it is the weekend now so I can rest up.

Basically they said that all we can do is wait now and let nature take its course. And have another scan in 2 weeks time and also have some blood tests to make sure the hormone levels are rising.

So I have an appointment at my GP tomorrrow morning to get that organised.

Keep your fingers crossed please that its all going to be ok.

Scan tomorrow, yay! Im looking forward to it.

I took another preg test today just to make sure - still no morning sickness - but it was an instant positive! I had myself convinced that tomorrow at the scan they would say, your not pregnant you must have made a mistake!

Tomorrow I will get to see for myself : )